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Inside the Mind of a Successful Woman

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These 5 shockingly simple traits will help you become the successful woman you want to become

Have you ever attended a seminar hosted by a successful woman? Or do you have a girlfriend who’s just winning at life? How about an old roommate or sorority sister who seems to have it all?

Undoubtedly, it’s left you wondering, “What does it take to truly be successful? How can I get ahead?" And for good reason — you’re seeing women achieve goals and reach milestones in their careers and lives every single day. So what’s their secret?

The Softer Side of a Successful Woman

First, let’s look at some definitions of success, from women who have reached for the stars and landed on them:

“We need a measure of success that goes beyond money and power, and consists of four pillars: well-being, wisdom, wonder, and giving." — Ariana Huffington

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” — Maya Angelou

“I wanted to be an independent woman, a woman who could pay for her bills, a woman who could run her own life — and I became that woman.” — Diane Von Furstenberg

While each one of these successful women worded her definition a bit differently, it all boils down to this truth: Success is much more a mindset than a state of being. Sure, they had goals and reached them — but they also knew there was more to success than simply checking tasks off a to-do list. They knew that there’s a human element to success, one that is not steeped in money or power, but a feeling of joy and satisfaction.

5 Tips to be a Successful Woman

Over the years, I’ve talked with a lot of successful women. I’ve sat in important meetings with very powerful women and nurtured my mind with books about the lives of some of the most successful women in history. And do you know what I’ve discovered? There are certain characteristics common among them. It’s actually not a secret at all, but a formula anyone can follow!

Let’s dive into five traits of the mindset of a successful woman — and think about how you can implement them into your current life:

  1. Use fear to your advantage

    A friend of Robert's and mine says that fear is the indicator that there is usually something great on the other side. He has vowed to always “walk into the fear.” One quote he shares is by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." When you are afraid to do something great, like start a business or invest in a new asset, use that fear to help propel you forward rather than turn you away. Go under it, over it, around it, through it — but don't hang around in it. For more encouragement, check out these three tips for overcoming fear.

  2. Listen to your inner Yoda

    There's a great scene from The Empire Strikes Back where Yoda tells Luke, "Do or do not, there is no try." One of the things that holds women back is their vocabulary — specifically the words “try” and “can't.” If you subscribe to the law of attraction, then you know that thoughts become things.

    So if you think you can’t, then inability is what you’ll attract into your life. Don't use language that has defeat already built in. Switch your language to something more positive. And consider how you can do it and then either choose to do it, or not to do it.

  3. Take responsibility

    There’s no more self-sabotaging behavior than blaming others for your mistakes. Doing so keeps us stuck in a holding pattern, unable to grow. Why? Because we're too busy trying to stop everybody from holding us back. In reality, we're the only ones holding us back. When you fail, own it. In fact, it’s OK to fail, because your mistakes don’t define you — how you handle them does. When you succeed, own that too. Acknowledge and celebrate your victories. Learn what you can from both successes and failures and then move on. It's the only path forward.

  4. Be generous

    There's a tendency for women to be competitive with one another. Shocker, right? The thing is, you're probably successful because others have invested in you. There is no woman who is an island unto herself. Someone probably invested in you along the way, generously too. Do the same with others who can benefit from your knowledge. Give back to women who could use some guidance — who knows what you might even learn along the way?

  5. Always be learning

    Nothing stops success like a closed mind. The world changes so rapidly that if you don't keep learning, you'll soon be left behind. The power of continual learning is unwavering. Look for lessons wherever you can find them. Read continually. Do and learn. An open mind is an open door to success.

What it takes to be a successful woman

  1. Use fear to your advantage
  2. Listen to your inner Yoda
  3. Take responsibility
  4. Be generous
  5. Always be learning
Original publish date: November 12, 2015

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