Blog | Personal Finance

Manage Your Little Voice, Don’t Eliminate It

If you know your little voice is mastering your thought patterns, you can’t eliminate it… but you can learn to manage it.

Throughout the course of my career, I’ve had many people misinterpret my message.

Often times, it revolves around what to do with their little voice. They see me on stage or watch one of my videos and they think I’m yelling at them to eliminate their little voice. They think I want them to silence their primal emotions once and for all.

Not only is that not true, it’s impossible.

They key to living a happy, successful life isn’t eliminating your little voice or even silencing it. They key is to manage it.

How to Manage Your Inner Voice

I would be the first to admit that life would be way easier if we could easily silence the negative thoughts in our heads clearing the path for positive thoughts to push us forward.

So, the first step is acknowledging the little voice in your head. Once you make this crucial step, you can then make a decision on what to do with what your little voice is saying.

You can listen to it… or ignore it.

I keep mentioning this because it’s crucial to master if you want to become successful and whatever you’re pursuing.

If someone cuts you off while you’re driving into work or a telemarketer interrupts your dinner, you’re going to have an immediate response. More than likely, it will be a negative one.

Having the initial reaction is good in most cases. It will keep you out of a bad business deal, or throwing money away or even hurting yourself.

However, it’s also automatic. It’s how you’re wired. And because it’s instinct, you could miss a lot of opportunities.

In a way, our brains are like high powered computers wired to act a certain way. Stimuli, response. You hit the “A” key on your keyboard, the circuitry knows to display an “A” on your screen.

Stimuli, response.

The Timid Techie

I’ve seen the stimuli, response cycle everywhere I’ve gone.

In one of the programs I was a part of years ago, there was a very talented, middle-aged man who seemed have a frustration at work, specifically with his boss. Or should I say, bosses. In spite of his talents, he always became shy and timid when he approached his boss. While he was very creative and engaging, whenever the word “boss” was mentioned, his shoulders slumped, his voice would drop, and his energy completely evaporated.

I worked with him to get to the root cause. Why was he so intimidated by his boss. We began by doing some role-playing. I pretended to be his boss while he was trying to ask for a raise. He struggled, mightily.

With every objection I threw at him, he would shrink, studder or get flustered.

I asked him how he felt. He said, “I feel intimidated.” “Good,” I responded, now we’re getting somewhere.”

I continued to press him for answers. He said that it happened every time his current boss would come in the room. And the boss before that, and the boss before that. Finally I asked, “Ok, so what about before that.”

He looked down at the floor with welled up tears in his eyes and a face flush with emotion. He was no longer a middle-aged man but a scared little boy. He replied, “When my dad would scold me about my schoolwork.”

It was a breakthrough moment for him.

For decades, his old programming had been replaying, over and over and over. Though none of his bosses, nor myself, were his father, his little voice reacted as though we were.

We tried it again and the difference was as obvious as night and day. His posture, voice and even word choice were that of a grown man determined to get what he wants. He not only countered each of my objections but created a simple plan to generate additional income for his company, take responsibility for that plan, and even requested a small percentage bonus based on the success of the plan.

Not bad for a “little boy” who no longer listened to his little voice.

Want to learn more about mastering your little voice, get a copy of my book, Little Voice Mastery.